Is wallpaper fashionable or is paint better these days?

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As we've not been primed with any more clues than in the title, we've pasted a few angles here to see if we can offer a (brush) stroke of inspiration.

If you're decorating your PC/laptop's desktop background, why not use the 'Paint' application to design a new 'wallpaper' - best of both worlds.


If you want to pimp your ride, then sprayed iridescent paint offers a sleeker finish than wallpaper. Add vinyl logos to complete the Fast & Furious look. Of course if your wheels are slower and you happen to be a highways technician, opt for paint for your road markings; we're unconvinced by double-yellow-wallpapered-lines, they have their obvious flaws.

Or perhaps you're thinking fashion/ body art - we wouldn't advise you wallpaper your toenails or try chocolate body wallpaper; you just end up tasting funny. Hmm... no change there then...

Creating that artistic masterpiece? Again, paint is preferable unless of course you're entering for the Turner Prize.

However, we suspect you're talking about decorating the insides of your home in which case these days either goes. In fact a combination of paint and a wallpapered 'feature wall' is a popular choice (note: wall NOT ceiling). Bright and bold prints, none of that old wood chip! If you want to be bang on the trend, consider a feature wall with a mural. You can even have one of your own photographs converted into wallpaper.


Not ones to gloss over external decorating, although we'd love to see the outside of your home wallpapered, that strikes us as being rather (g)loopy. You're better off watching paint dry.

There, that's enough for anyone's palette, we hope we've helped you to make your decision. Now don't get over emulsional we're off to wallpaper the town red...


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If you were to write in the dust on the moon, how big would the letters have to be so you could see them from earth without a telescope?

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Did you know that contrary to popular belief, the Great Wall of China is not viewable from outer space? The viewer would need visual acuity 17 times better than normal (20/20) to see the Wall from the Moon, and vision 8 times better than normal to see it from low earth orbit.

From their vantage point on the Moon, Apollo astronauts could not make out any man made features on Earth. They could make out oceans and land masses but not much more.

So subject to moon phases, this FAQer thinks that for writing on the moon to be visible from Earth, each letter would have to be at least half as big as the Mare Crisium which measures 345 miles in diameter therefore each letter would need to be at least 175 miles high.

Just ensure you write on the correct side...



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Which cracker of a Christmas cracker joke cracks you up most?

0 comments
What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?

You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.


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What would you most like to pour your custard over?

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Clegg and Cameron

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I am a massive fan of panel shows... HIGNFY, Would I Lie To You?, Nevermind The Buzzcocks, QI, Celebrity Juice, to name just a few. But what is the best panel show on TV?

0 comments
A difficult choice indeed as all the shows listed are great in their own way. We have reviewed each and every one, hence the delay in our faqing!

Although we highly regard Mock the Week, due in no small part to the comedic contributions of our favourite panelist Russell Howard, at the end of the day there can only be one winner.

In our humble opinion our chosen show imparts remarkably informative and humourous answers to many random questions that previously were assumed to be fact but actually are not the case.

With a host in the form of Stephen Fry, convincingly imparting a head-masterly role, he demonstrates an almost other-worldly intellect yet can be self-deprecating and is able to accept quips and jests with humour.

Oddly similar to JustFAQMe's raison d'etre, we consider that it shouldn't be too surprising and possibly quite interesting to you that QI is our top trumps of TV panel shows.

As Joe Friday in Dragnet (Dan Aykroyd) says "Just the facts, ma'am." What's that, JFM? In fact, what Friday actually said is "All we want are the facts." Well, that's show-business!

Any resemblance between the characters in this website and any FAQs, living or dead, is a miracle.


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Is Snoopy better than Topcat?

1 comments
YES

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What do you think is the best breakfast?

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This hungry FAQer believes that breakfast is - and should be - the best meal of the day. It is a meal to be celebrated!

(Imagine a Health Warning here!) I say don't make cereal a serial habit but indulge in the following 5 course breakfast instead! Here's the best 5 course breakfast i've ever eaten (in Prague):

Fresh fruit salad, freshly squeezed fruit juice

Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, bagel, and champagne

Sausages and bacon, fried egg, mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread

Fresh bread with cheese and cold meats

Freshly ground coffee

I'm not suggesting you start everyday like this, but a couple of courses once a week should help keep a smile on your face (followed by a long walk!)

"Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper”
Adelle Davis

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What should I have for tea tonight? Sausages or burgers?

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Bicycle made from sausages

What to have for tea tonight; sausages or burgers? Well we hope you made the right butchers choice and made mincemeat of your opponent by choosing good old bangers!

Did you know...

The word sausage is derived from the Latin word salsus which means something salted. Sausages are mentioned in The Odyssey which was written by Homer more than 2,700 years ago:

"These goat sausages sizzling here in the fire -
we packed them with fat and blood to have for supper.
Now, whoever wins this bout and proves the stronger,
Let that man step up and take his pick of the lot!"

Irish Sausages Please:

Can I have some Irish sausages please?' Asked Seamus. I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.
The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, 'Are you Irish?'

'If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?'

The assistant replied, 'Well...er.... no' .

'And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? Whatabout Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't,' came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?'

'Because you're in a blooming shoe shop', replied the assistant.


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What is the point of phosphorescent phytoplankton? Apart from making you glow like the 'Ready Brek man' of course

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Holy Luminous Sea Creatures Batman! What a fiendishly FAQ to research!

There are a few rare experiences in life in which the emotional content is outside logic or a sense of reality, like standing on a vertical mountain ridge with a thousand foot drop on either side or when driving through a rainbow. Another is swimming with phosphorescent phytoplankton.

So what is the point of these performing pincushions of nature? Well they can't help but be born exhibitionists, delighting you in colourful luminescence, making you shed inhibitions, and luring you into a false sense of security.

Imagine the scene... A bunch of you are spending the day at a beach house on an island in the Maldives. After dark, the surf glows blue. None of you have ever seen glow-in-the-dark plankton before. Each wave is a fluorescent blue tube. Every footstep in the damp sand sends a ring of blue light expanding outward.  Up close, the glow sparkles blue points; the individual planktic.  Of course, you all have to go swimming...and find out that the things are about the size of a pinhead, but have tiny little legs? claws? that don't feel too comfortable when they get trapped under a swimsuit; so the suits came off.  Your bodies are outlined in blue light.  When you hold up your arms, flashing blue diamonds cascade down.  It is a magical, memorable experience.

But then you notice the man standing in the surf a few feet away, casting a ten-foot circular net, and hauling in five-foot dog sharks.  You look between your legs, and think "bait", and decide that, magical or not, that's enough skinny-dipping for one night.

Yes indeed, you have to watch out for those phosphorescent phytoplankton types. They might appear harmless, but if you're unlucky the damn sneaky lot of them will have your precious bits glowing too!



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Please remind me what Santa's reindeer are called?

1 comments
Is there a song or poem to help me to remember in future?


The only known flying reindeer in the world were endowed with the power of flight by virtue of magic corn given by a great and wonderful wizard. Through this magic corn, the strength of the Reindeer is increased threefold, their stamina increased to infinity and their hooves can manipulate the air as though it were solid ground.

Santa's reindeer first gained celebrity status by the poet Clement Clarke Moore's 1822 poem...

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Did you know you can track Santa and his reindeers' flightpath? Well, the good folks at NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command can help you out - Visit http://www.noradsanta.org/


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What's the average bedtime for the average adult?

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Oh dear, this particular FAQer was never one for being average and regularly retires after midnight or even later. Now children don't follow my bad example - we should get at least 8 hours of sleep to function properly.

It seems that bedtime for many on workday nights is between 10 and 11pm although for a few shattered souls 9pm is nearer the mark.

Here's a handy tip to get the best kind of kip. When you go to bed, take a deep breath and just relax. Feel your muscles relax. Become one with your mattress.

Yawn...now we're feeling sleepy so we're off to tuck each other into bed, with our hot cocoa and to read each other a lovely bed-time story...Gnight...

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What is the ULTIMATE Christmas movie???

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Although to some this story is an analogy to the debate over U.S. monetary policy in the late 1800s - Dorothy is misled to take the yellow brick road (the gold standard) but is taken home by the silver shoes (the ruby slippers are silver in the book); the cowardly lion is William Jennings Bryan...it cannot be anything else but this marvellously magical movie.

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Is there a fire in my belly?

0 comments Yes

It was 'National Curry Week' last week after all!



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Should I sleep with one eye open?

0 comments
Yes

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Shower or Bath?

1 comments
Water curious faq! We're awash with benefits from both the shower and the bath. Showers are invigorating, quicker and (generally) cheaper. Unless you're niftily recycling your used bath water (for thirsty plants) or sharing with the family, neighbours and dog, in which case this is also a thrifty option.

For us though, the bath is best for total relaxation. As long as we're not talking bed baths. Of course with a bath it's easier to have company; a book or little yellow rubber duck for example! (what did you think we were going to say?!)

We're not only the ones to think this. Just look at all the Spa towns the ancient Greeks, Romans and Turks founded.

The shower is no place to read unless you're used to reading in the rain and have taken the precaution of laminating all the pages. Hmm, that depressingly reminds us of public transport safety notices. No, not conducive to soaking your troubles away at all.

In these frenetic and stressful times we think it's important to make more time for oneself. What better than a steaming hot, relaxing bubble bath surrounded with the warm glow of scented candles.

"What's that, Donald?"
"Quack quack!"

You're so right, we couldn't have said it better ourselves.

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Is there a point to parsnips?

0 comments
YES



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Why do smelly feet smell like smelly cheese?

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Cheesy Feet

The quality of foot odour is often reported as a thick, cheesy smell. Some describe the smell like that of malt vinegar. However, it can also be ammonia-like.

Brevibacteria are considered a major cause of foot odour because they ingest dead skin on the feet and, in the process, convert amino acid methionine into methanethiol, which has a sulfuric aroma. The dead skin that fuels this process is especially common on the soles and between the toes.

The brevibacteria is also what gives cheeses such as Limburger, Bel Paese, Port du Salut, and Munster their characteristic pungency.

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Who should be crowned King/Queen of the jungle in this year's 'I'm a celeb...'?

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If this photo doesn't convince you she's an Amazonian Princess-in-Waiting then we don't know what will. This undercover jungle agent was a finalist in last year's ITV song contest and certainly has the X-Factor...


Yes we FAQers think Stacey Solomon deserves to be crowned Queen of the Jungle.
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How many species of great apes are there?

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The great apes are Bonobos, Chimpanzees, Gorillas, Orangutans and Humans (apparently) which makes it five species.


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How slow is a slow worm?

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Slow worms (Anguis_fragilis) look superficially like snakes, but are actually legless lizards. They have eyelids, visible ears, a flat forked tongue and can drop its tail to escape. Snake eyes are lidless.

Adult slow-worms grow to be about 50 cm long and are known for their exceptionally long life; it has been said that a slow-worm is the longest-living lizard, living about thirty years in the wild and up to fifty-four years in captivity.

Contrary to their name, Slow worms are not worms and definitely not slow. In fact, they're pretty speedy and wriggle like a wickedly wriggly thing. Check out this little video...



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How do they put stripes in toothpaste?

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The toothpaste tube is filled with the carrier material, the actual toothpaste, which is usually white, to a certain level. Above that level, the tube is filled with the 'stripe' stuff, which is usually red, blue or green. Both materials are viscous enough so that they don't mix. Now the trick is to let these two substances out separate ways but at the same time. The toothpaste nozzle is not just a hole at the top of the tube. Instead, it is a longish pipe that reaches down the tube just ending at the filling level of the carrier material.


The pipe has small holes in it further up closer to the nozzle. Pressing the tube will cause the carrier material to enter the outlet pipe and press the stripe stuff. The stripe material will enter the outlet pipe through the small holes, which is where the stripes are generated.


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Do you like sprouts?

4 comments
YES

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What's your opinion of the student protests and riots over tuition fees?

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Proposed cuts to education and tripling of tuition fees led to an angry 500,000 strong demonstration in early November 2010. Further protests involving sit-ins at UK universities and colleges caused minor disruptions a fortnight later.

Rescinding on pre-election promises is reprehensibly unjust and our view is that everyone has a right to protest - peacefully. We say stand up and be counted. All too often FAQers lie back and grizzle and whinge without taking action and that too is outrageously shameful. Protest, protest and protest some more.

Our view however is that there's never an excuse for violence or crime and as for the person who threw the fire extinguisher from the roof top - shame on you!


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Why do we wear poppies for Remembrance day?

5 comments
Poppies are worn to show others that you are remembering those who died for their country. The reason poppies are used is because they are the flowers which grew on the battle fields after World War I ended.

The Royal British Legion safeguards the welfare, interests and memory of those who are serving or who have served in the Armed Forces. They are one of the UK’s largest membership organisations and recognised as custodians of Remembrance. They run the annual Poppy Appeal.

My attempt at drawing Poppies using Facebook Graffiti


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Who's your money on to win X-Factor?

15 comments
The X Factor

Who do we think the winner will be this year? Hmm...let's do a quick character appraisal of our wannabe pop stars...here are the final four:

Rebecca - How she transforms from shy Scouser into American-style soulstress is remarkable; a true diva! Certainly one to watch; another potential English sweetheart ready to crack America.

Cher - Cute and perky little rapster. Loving her style; she's true to herself and unique. She delivers mash up magic.

Matt - He reaches the right notes for us FAQers. He can paint and decorate our gaffs any day. A very unassuming lad, but a huge talent. One to watch...and see...and look at...and ogle over. Loving the hats.

One Direction - Talented voices in perfect packages; just what the young ladies need. Fresh faced and representing the new generation.

Our choice
So after much intense and absolutely necessary study of his marvellous assets we think Matt will be the winner. He's the best by far; gorgeous looking, sounds amazing, humble, funny...yes he's definitely got it!


Who's your money on to win X-Factor?

Of course it goes without saying that the one with the Xtra Factor is the gorgeous Dermot. Don't miss your X Factor Live 2011 show tickets here

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Does a duck's quack echo?

0 comments
YES

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What's your opinion of people with 6 fingers?

1 comments
The condition of supernumeracy fingers (or toes) is called Polydactyly. When each hand has 6 fingers, this is often referred to as sexdactyly, hexadactyly or hexadatylism . Lots of fingers = lots of names. Even though this particular faqer is Westcountry born and bred - from glorious Devon - I am yet (to my knowledge) to meet anyone with 6 fingers on each hand. Therefore, forming a first hand opinion is not easy. I am however 100% certain that as with most 5 fingered folk, there will be both nasty and nice spirited 6 fingered folk.

Instinct leads me to a positive opinion of 6 fingered people. Diversity is wonderful and difference should be welcomed, valued and celebrated. It's the one thing we all have in common.

Anne Boleyn had 6 fingers and they didn't do her any harm - admittedly she ended up with no head, but that was due to alleged witchcraft, adultery and incest, or moreover being married to a murderous faqer. Sadly not everyone respects diversity and some uninformed people use difference as a reason to discriminate. One Orlando-born guy called Domer, was recently barred from a Guitar Hero tournament as it was considered that having 6 fingers gave him an unfair advantage. Madness.

This faqer believes that we should be keenly embracing difference, whatever that might be; six fingers, three legs, two noses or one eye. There's room in the world for it all.

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What's Noddy's dog called?

0 comments
Noddy's faithful bounding hound is called dear little Bumpy Dog.


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Why don't kangaroos just walk or run?

0 comments
Why walk when you can hop along with a spring in your step? I know I'd rather bounce along than walk - and many agree with me, hence the invention of the 1969 space hopper, jumping balls, pogo sticks and more recently invented leg springs! It's not just kangaroos; rabbits, grasshoppers and frogs are all at it and human folk are willing to pay good money for a hopping experience!

Intriguingly, fossil evidence from 25 million years ago has revealed that kangaroo ancesters did not hop. Since then though they've come on leaps and bounds and can speed along at up to 40mph in short bursts. It's known they can clear an 8 foot fence from a standstill and can leap 20-30 feet forward with ease. Hopping is more energy-efficient than running or galloping. The faster kangaroos hop, the less energy they expend for the same distance. When scientists put kangaroos on treadmills, they discovered that kangaroos maintain a constant number of hops per minute. Regardless of how much the treadmill speeds up, they simply take longer and longer hops.
Kangaroos function much like bouncing balls; bouncing a number of times without a fresh input of energy. Every time a ball hits the ground, some of the energy is shifted to the rubber, stored there, then recycled in an elastic bounce. Jumping kangaroos store 70% of their energy in their tendons, compared to running humans, who can store and reuse only about 20%.
A hopping kangaroo is said to use less energy to breathe than a parked kangaroo. Part of the secret lies in the way the abdominal organs “flop” within the kangaroo’s body. Instead of using muscle power, air is pushed out of the lungs by the impact of the organs against the diaphragm at each landing.

In researching this faq, we stumbled across another pair of interesting faqs! Firstly, kangaroos cannot walk backwards; the physiological structure of their legs and tail prevent this. Secondly, some scientists believe that kangaroos may hold the answers to helping address global warming: it is alleged that kangaroos can't fart! They are thought to be totally trump-less!

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Is it greedy to have 8 shredded wheats for brekkie?

1 comments
YES


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Who's better Simon or Louis?

1 comments
As today's 1st November, All Saints Day, we donned our halos and sought devine instruction to answer this FAQ. Of course, the term 'better' is very subjective and it depends to what you're referring - Simon is clearly better looking (angelic), has better insight into the music industry and a better perception of what constitutes 'talent'. Louis however, is clearly better at being a Plonker.

So is this assessment of 'betterness' supported by the beatific vision, the eternal and direct visual perception of God?

Er...it would appear not. Oh Lordy! The unsaintly Simon, although meaning 'God has heard', is the Patron Saint of curriers, sawmen and tanners. Yes, that is it. Of course, all worthy trades, but this list is cruxifyingly overshadowed by that of Saint Louis. While Simon is tanning hides, Louis is Patron Saint of the following:

Against the death of children.
Barbers, hairdressers & hairstylers!
Bridegrooms (& difficult marriages, these often go hand in hand)
Button makers, embroiderers, needlework and haberdashers.
Construction workers, builders, stone masons, stone cutters & sculptors.
Crusaders.
Distillers.
Kings.
Parents of large families.
Prisoners.
Sick people.
Soldiers.

Wow! Louis will ensure that you live healthily into your adulthood, that you're well coiffured, that you and your large family have a roof over your head and something to wear. He'll look after you in sickness, war or crime. On this particluar measure therefore, Louis is King.

(But Simon would still be 'better' at tanning my hide any day!)

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Is the Yeo Valley advert an accurate portrayal of the West Country?

2 comments
YES


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What's a tasty Moroccan recipe?

0 comments

This faqer loves Moroccan food. It's second to none for simplicity and incredible flavour. While this Faqer was visiting Marrakech earlier this year, I was staggered to see other tourists tucking into McDonalds; what a wasted opportunity.
Our favourite Morrocan gem is this (but shhh, it's a secret!)

Monkfish Chermoula (6 portions, prep = 30mins + 30mins marinating, cooking = 5-8mins)

Although the ingredients in Chermoula vary, they always comprise of the garlic, olive oil and lemon - combined with a blend of spices and herbs. Here's ours:

Chermoula
  • 1 tbsp ground cumin
  • 1 tsp ground coriander
  • 1 1/2 tsp sweet paprika
  • 1 tsp ground ginger
  • 3 garlic cloves, crushed
  • 2-3 large red chillies (dependent on taste, de-seeded and roughly chopped)
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • 100ml olive oil
  • 3 tbsp flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
  • 3 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
  • 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • moldan salt
Monkfish
  • 300g monkfish fillet, sliced into 3-5cm pieces
  • 6 tbsp chermoula
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 200ml fish stock or water
  • generous pinch of saffron threads
  • 200ml white wine
  • 60g sultanas
  • 60g pine nuts
  • zest of 1/4 lemon
  • moldan salt
The 'how-to' bit:
  1. Chermoula: Place all the ingredients in a food processor blend it or grind it in a mortar and pestle so that you have a slightly course puree. (The chermoula will keep in a jar in the fridge for up to 1 month).
  2. Monkfish: Coat the monkfish in the chermoula and leave it to marinate for 30 minutes.
  3. Bring the stock or water to the boil, remove it from the heat and add the sultanas and saffron to the liquid.
  4. Place the olive oil in a deep pan over a moderate high heat. Place the monkfish with the marinade in the pan and cook for 2-3 minutes so that the fish lightly coloured. Pour the wine over the fish and bring it to a strong simmer for 1 minute. Add the saffron liquid with the sultanas, pine nuts and lemon zest. Bring the mixture to a strong simmer then reduce it to slow simmer for 5-8 minutes. Season to taste. Serve and faqing enjoy!

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Shall I dress up for Halloween today?

6 comments
YES

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What's the longest word in the English dictionary?

0 comments
That, my dear, would be:
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
And that, my dear, is more than enough said!


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Does Lord Sugar resemble a Sugar Mouse?

1 comments
YES

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Where do they find these people for The Apprentice?

1 comments
If we gorged on a slice of sugar-sprinked cherry pie every time someone asked that, we'd be sufficiently plump to assuredly enter the World Sumo Championships, and win.

Incredibly, we're now up to the 6th series of The Apprentice and still one of the only individuals showing an iota of talent and business savvy is the shrewd but kindly Nick Hewer, Lord Sugar's right-hand man. As a patron of Hope and Homes For Children, we can't help but feel fuzzy warmth about this talented toffee. We struggle however to extend this balmy conviviality to his female counterpart Karen Bradey, who falls short in the shadows of the much missed Margaret Mountford, despite her commitment to supporting two indispensible and worthy charities, Scope and Birmingham Women's Aid.

As for the actual 'candidates', these are recruited from all walks of life. The one who shows the most early promise is Stella English, an authentic English star. This aspiring 30 year old apprentice left school without qualifications, but since twinkled dazzlingly in a Japanese Bank in London City. With no problem 'whipping the boys into shape' mother-of-two Ms English is definitely the candidate to watch (men-folk we said 'watch', not ogle).

As much as Stella is our supernova, we have to say that food business manager, Melissa Cohen, has clearly exceeded her use-by date. Again 'found' in London, 27 year old Melissa attracted Lord Sugar's attention in the 3rd episode after admitting having 'minced her words'. Although her team scraped a win, the Lord refused to sugar-coat his opinion of Melissa and commented that the team's successes 'could not be attributed to her'. Effervescent? maybe. Apprentice? no. Melissa's been recognised as 'the one who got away', escaping the firing line, for now.

So London is responsible for producing both the creamy and the curdled candidates. What about the remaining bunch?

Manchester's meagre offering is Alex Epstein (26), an unemployed Head of Communications.
Chris Bates (23) is a Surrey based Investment Banker (how apt for this master).
Cheshire-man Christopher Farrell (28) is an Ex-Royal Marine Commando (big respect), who is now employed as a Mortgage Broker (er did we say respect, we spoke too swiftly).
Overseas Property Developer, Jamie Lester (28) is yet another Londoner.
Leicester has lent us Joanna Riley (25), a Cleaning Company Owner.
22 year old Laura Moore is a Business Development Manager from Warwickshire.
Also featuring from the Midlands is Liz Locke (24), another Investment Wanker.
Senior Marketing Manager Paloma Vivanco (29) is also from London, boring.
Sandeesh Samra (26) is a Recruitment Consultant from Nottingham.
Baby of the bunch (21) Stuart Baggs is a Telecoms Entrepreneur from the Isle of Man.

So that's where they found this peerless assortment of candidates...And that's where all but one laudable Apprentice will be faqing off back to.

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Left or Right?

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This question confuses even me, so bear with me lol. I was watching a video on YouTube today where the viewer was given the chance to pick between left or right, to save the creator from possible peril.

I discovered after watching this video that both my boyfriend and I decided to pick left. He said to me that given the chance he would always pick left before right. Is there a psychological reason for this or is it just a simple preference or choice?


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We say this is a conclusion that is based on too small a study, i.e, only two people, and we suspect it would even out with more participants. It's a low level coincidence and does not constitute a pattern.

However, there are those that say the Left-Hand Path equates with malicious Black Magic and the Right-Hand Path with beneficial White Magic.



Perhaps you are both witches who have lots of enemies and so need to be alert to patterns to prevent predators getting you, houses dropping on your heads or avoiding buckets of water being thrown at you. We imagine that during full moons you cavort naked around old gnarly farmyard trees but that's enough detail about your pub quiz nights.

It's not good for you both to choose left, you won't go far in a car or indeed in a pedalo...splosh!

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Lots of people have farms, in what way is Old MacDonald so special that he gets a song about his farm?

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We didn't know the answer to this but we weren't going to have a cow about it. So we set off with a moo moo here and a moo moo there to find out the faqs.

First we tracked down the origins of the song and found that it dates back to an opera in 1719-1720 called Kingdom of the Birds:

In the Fields in Frost and Snows,
Watching late and early;
There I keep my Father's Cows,
There I Milk 'em Yearly:
Booing here, Booing there,
Here a Boo, there a Boo, every where a Boo,
We defy all Care and Strife,
In a Charming Country-Life.

It wasn't until 1917 in a collection called Tommy's Tunes, however, that the version we know and love became known:

Old MacDonald had a farm, EE-I-EE-I-O.
And on that farm he had a cow, EE-I-EE-I-O.
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there
Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EE-I-EE-I-O.









As to why Old MacDonald was special? Well we did discover the following...Prepare yourself, it's not pretty.

One is that it was the cover name chosen by Skynet as part of a sinister plot to introduce an insidious corporate marketing strategy. The mission? To make McDonalds cheeseburgers irresistible so that John Connor would get too fat to fight the machines in the future.

They sent a T-888 Terminator back in time to set itself up as a farmer originally from the Isle of Skye, Scotland to introduce the nursery song. It's so obvious, we don't understand why no one else sees it.

[Team FAQer: Apologies, the faqer who wrote this has now been forced to take early retirement - no! not that kind. We mean a rest].

Another more likely theory is that Old MacDonald was deemed special because of the following.

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer.

He bought a nice, used chicken farm and moved in. As it turned out, his next door neighbour was also a chicken farmer. The neighbour came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens."

The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the neighbour dropped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too well. All 100 chickens died." The neighbour said, "Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more." 

Another two weeks went by and the neighbour stopped by again. The new farmer said, "You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbour asked, "What went wrong?"

The new farmer said, "Well, I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or too close together."
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What's the life span of a robin?

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Robin

Now you may think I've seen the same robin visit my garden year after year so it must be quite a few. Sadly, the life of a Superhero sidekick is fraught with danger although there have been individuals that have lived for 12 years.

Holy Little Bird Batman!! Most robins have an average life expectancy of 1¼ to 1½ years, but only about 10-20% of young reach adulthood. Much of that ‘infant mortality’ happens in the nest or shortly after fledging. Birds in captivity can live to much greater ages - even exceeding the longest lived wild birds.
Robin


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