Who was the greatest artist in your opinion?

0 comments What a question! Are we referring to past artisans of paint, sculpture, music, literature, film, television or other media? There are so many choices!

For now though, this faqer will assume it is of the first kind; those that drew or painted. This requires much to ponder, nay, muse on one's perspective.

A difficult landscape to cover, we do not wish to portray too abstract a view, nor come across as too impressionable. The answer should not be distasteful to the palette, over oily in obsequiousness and definitely not muddy the water (colours).

One could easel(y) chalk up such greats as Botticelli, Dali, Monet, Picasso, Raphael, Renoir, Rembrandt or Van Gogh but no, they must be brushed aside!

For the greatest artist in this faqers opinion was the most versatile, inventive, inspirational and most recognised among his contemporaries.

Although known more for his drawings than paintings, he had a colossal curiosity, an insatiable quest for knowledge and gave us immortal works including; The Study of Hands, The Last Supper and the Mona Lisa.


So without further sketchiness, we declare the greatest artist to be none other than Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519). A man ahead of his time.
After all that, I think this faqer could have just posted his portrait. Well, they say a picture paints a thousand words...

p.s. This faqer also has an interest in drawing/painting. You can see his attempts in the facebook graffiti app at Andy's Facebook Graffiti wall. Hope you like them and give it a go too! :)
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New Kit too Hot to Play Burnt CDs

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I've burned cds on a CD-R 700 mb before and they've played on all of my equipment, new one won't can you answer why?

This perplexing problem sounds a little familiar to one of our previous faqs. We suggest you read this and its comments

We hope the fire, unpleasant smells go away soon and you can hear sweet music once again.

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Is wallpaper fashionable or is paint better these days?

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As we've not been primed with any more clues than in the title, we've pasted a few angles here to see if we can offer a (brush) stroke of inspiration.

If you're decorating your PC/laptop's desktop background, why not use the 'Paint' application to design a new 'wallpaper' - best of both worlds.


If you want to pimp your ride, then sprayed iridescent paint offers a sleeker finish than wallpaper. Add vinyl logos to complete the Fast & Furious look. Of course if your wheels are slower and you happen to be a highways technician, opt for paint for your road markings; we're unconvinced by double-yellow-wallpapered-lines, they have their obvious flaws.

Or perhaps you're thinking fashion/ body art - we wouldn't advise you wallpaper your toenails or try chocolate body wallpaper; you just end up tasting funny. Hmm... no change there then...

Creating that artistic masterpiece? Again, paint is preferable unless of course you're entering for the Turner Prize.

However, we suspect you're talking about decorating the insides of your home in which case these days either goes. In fact a combination of paint and a wallpapered 'feature wall' is a popular choice (note: wall NOT ceiling). Bright and bold prints, none of that old wood chip! If you want to be bang on the trend, consider a feature wall with a mural. You can even have one of your own photographs converted into wallpaper.


Not ones to gloss over external decorating, although we'd love to see the outside of your home wallpapered, that strikes us as being rather (g)loopy. You're better off watching paint dry.

There, that's enough for anyone's palette, we hope we've helped you to make your decision. Now don't get over emulsional we're off to wallpaper the town red...


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If you were to write in the dust on the moon, how big would the letters have to be so you could see them from earth without a telescope?

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Did you know that contrary to popular belief, the Great Wall of China is not viewable from outer space? The viewer would need visual acuity 17 times better than normal (20/20) to see the Wall from the Moon, and vision 8 times better than normal to see it from low earth orbit.

From their vantage point on the Moon, Apollo astronauts could not make out any man made features on Earth. They could make out oceans and land masses but not much more.

So subject to moon phases, this FAQer thinks that for writing on the moon to be visible from Earth, each letter would have to be at least half as big as the Mare Crisium which measures 345 miles in diameter therefore each letter would need to be at least 175 miles high.

Just ensure you write on the correct side...



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Which cracker of a Christmas cracker joke cracks you up most?

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What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?

You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.


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What would you most like to pour your custard over?

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Clegg and Cameron

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I am a massive fan of panel shows... HIGNFY, Would I Lie To You?, Nevermind The Buzzcocks, QI, Celebrity Juice, to name just a few. But what is the best panel show on TV?

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A difficult choice indeed as all the shows listed are great in their own way. We have reviewed each and every one, hence the delay in our faqing!

Although we highly regard Mock the Week, due in no small part to the comedic contributions of our favourite panelist Russell Howard, at the end of the day there can only be one winner.

In our humble opinion our chosen show imparts remarkably informative and humourous answers to many random questions that previously were assumed to be fact but actually are not the case.

With a host in the form of Stephen Fry, convincingly imparting a head-masterly role, he demonstrates an almost other-worldly intellect yet can be self-deprecating and is able to accept quips and jests with humour.

Oddly similar to JustFAQMe's raison d'etre, we consider that it shouldn't be too surprising and possibly quite interesting to you that QI is our top trumps of TV panel shows.

As Joe Friday in Dragnet (Dan Aykroyd) says "Just the facts, ma'am." What's that, JFM? In fact, what Friday actually said is "All we want are the facts." Well, that's show-business!

Any resemblance between the characters in this website and any FAQs, living or dead, is a miracle.


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Is Snoopy better than Topcat?

1 comments
YES

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What do you think is the best breakfast?

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This hungry FAQer believes that breakfast is - and should be - the best meal of the day. It is a meal to be celebrated!

(Imagine a Health Warning here!) I say don't make cereal a serial habit but indulge in the following 5 course breakfast instead! Here's the best 5 course breakfast i've ever eaten (in Prague):

Fresh fruit salad, freshly squeezed fruit juice

Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, bagel, and champagne

Sausages and bacon, fried egg, mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread

Fresh bread with cheese and cold meats

Freshly ground coffee

I'm not suggesting you start everyday like this, but a couple of courses once a week should help keep a smile on your face (followed by a long walk!)

"Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper”
Adelle Davis

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What should I have for tea tonight? Sausages or burgers?

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Bicycle made from sausages

What to have for tea tonight; sausages or burgers? Well we hope you made the right butchers choice and made mincemeat of your opponent by choosing good old bangers!

Did you know...

The word sausage is derived from the Latin word salsus which means something salted. Sausages are mentioned in The Odyssey which was written by Homer more than 2,700 years ago:

"These goat sausages sizzling here in the fire -
we packed them with fat and blood to have for supper.
Now, whoever wins this bout and proves the stronger,
Let that man step up and take his pick of the lot!"

Irish Sausages Please:

Can I have some Irish sausages please?' Asked Seamus. I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.
The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, 'Are you Irish?'

'If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?'

The assistant replied, 'Well...er.... no' .

'And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? Whatabout Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't,' came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?'

'Because you're in a blooming shoe shop', replied the assistant.


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What is the point of phosphorescent phytoplankton? Apart from making you glow like the 'Ready Brek man' of course

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Holy Luminous Sea Creatures Batman! What a fiendishly FAQ to research!

There are a few rare experiences in life in which the emotional content is outside logic or a sense of reality, like standing on a vertical mountain ridge with a thousand foot drop on either side or when driving through a rainbow. Another is swimming with phosphorescent phytoplankton.

So what is the point of these performing pincushions of nature? Well they can't help but be born exhibitionists, delighting you in colourful luminescence, making you shed inhibitions, and luring you into a false sense of security.

Imagine the scene... A bunch of you are spending the day at a beach house on an island in the Maldives. After dark, the surf glows blue. None of you have ever seen glow-in-the-dark plankton before. Each wave is a fluorescent blue tube. Every footstep in the damp sand sends a ring of blue light expanding outward.  Up close, the glow sparkles blue points; the individual planktic.  Of course, you all have to go swimming...and find out that the things are about the size of a pinhead, but have tiny little legs? claws? that don't feel too comfortable when they get trapped under a swimsuit; so the suits came off.  Your bodies are outlined in blue light.  When you hold up your arms, flashing blue diamonds cascade down.  It is a magical, memorable experience.

But then you notice the man standing in the surf a few feet away, casting a ten-foot circular net, and hauling in five-foot dog sharks.  You look between your legs, and think "bait", and decide that, magical or not, that's enough skinny-dipping for one night.

Yes indeed, you have to watch out for those phosphorescent phytoplankton types. They might appear harmless, but if you're unlucky the damn sneaky lot of them will have your precious bits glowing too!



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Please remind me what Santa's reindeer are called?

1 comments
Is there a song or poem to help me to remember in future?


The only known flying reindeer in the world were endowed with the power of flight by virtue of magic corn given by a great and wonderful wizard. Through this magic corn, the strength of the Reindeer is increased threefold, their stamina increased to infinity and their hooves can manipulate the air as though it were solid ground.

Santa's reindeer first gained celebrity status by the poet Clement Clarke Moore's 1822 poem...

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Did you know you can track Santa and his reindeers' flightpath? Well, the good folks at NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command can help you out - Visit http://www.noradsanta.org/


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What's the average bedtime for the average adult?

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Oh dear, this particular FAQer was never one for being average and regularly retires after midnight or even later. Now children don't follow my bad example - we should get at least 8 hours of sleep to function properly.

It seems that bedtime for many on workday nights is between 10 and 11pm although for a few shattered souls 9pm is nearer the mark.

Here's a handy tip to get the best kind of kip. When you go to bed, take a deep breath and just relax. Feel your muscles relax. Become one with your mattress.

Yawn...now we're feeling sleepy so we're off to tuck each other into bed, with our hot cocoa and to read each other a lovely bed-time story...Gnight...

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What is the ULTIMATE Christmas movie???

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Although to some this story is an analogy to the debate over U.S. monetary policy in the late 1800s - Dorothy is misled to take the yellow brick road (the gold standard) but is taken home by the silver shoes (the ruby slippers are silver in the book); the cowardly lion is William Jennings Bryan...it cannot be anything else but this marvellously magical movie.

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Is there a fire in my belly?

0 comments Yes

It was 'National Curry Week' last week after all!



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Should I sleep with one eye open?

0 comments
Yes

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Shower or Bath?

1 comments
Water curious faq! We're awash with benefits from both the shower and the bath. Showers are invigorating, quicker and (generally) cheaper. Unless you're niftily recycling your used bath water (for thirsty plants) or sharing with the family, neighbours and dog, in which case this is also a thrifty option.

For us though, the bath is best for total relaxation. As long as we're not talking bed baths. Of course with a bath it's easier to have company; a book or little yellow rubber duck for example! (what did you think we were going to say?!)

We're not only the ones to think this. Just look at all the Spa towns the ancient Greeks, Romans and Turks founded.

The shower is no place to read unless you're used to reading in the rain and have taken the precaution of laminating all the pages. Hmm, that depressingly reminds us of public transport safety notices. No, not conducive to soaking your troubles away at all.

In these frenetic and stressful times we think it's important to make more time for oneself. What better than a steaming hot, relaxing bubble bath surrounded with the warm glow of scented candles.

"What's that, Donald?"
"Quack quack!"

You're so right, we couldn't have said it better ourselves.

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Is there a point to parsnips?

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YES



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Why do smelly feet smell like smelly cheese?

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Cheesy Feet

The quality of foot odour is often reported as a thick, cheesy smell. Some describe the smell like that of malt vinegar. However, it can also be ammonia-like.

Brevibacteria are considered a major cause of foot odour because they ingest dead skin on the feet and, in the process, convert amino acid methionine into methanethiol, which has a sulfuric aroma. The dead skin that fuels this process is especially common on the soles and between the toes.

The brevibacteria is also what gives cheeses such as Limburger, Bel Paese, Port du Salut, and Munster their characteristic pungency.

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Who should be crowned King/Queen of the jungle in this year's 'I'm a celeb...'?

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If this photo doesn't convince you she's an Amazonian Princess-in-Waiting then we don't know what will. This undercover jungle agent was a finalist in last year's ITV song contest and certainly has the X-Factor...


Yes we FAQers think Stacey Solomon deserves to be crowned Queen of the Jungle.
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