Just FAQMe

I am a massive fan of panel shows... HIGNFY, Would I Lie To You?, Nevermind The Buzzcocks, QI, Celebrity Juice, to name just a few. But what is the best panel show on TV?

A difficult choice indeed as all the shows listed are great in their own way. We have reviewed each and every one, hence the delay in our faqing!

Although we highly regard Mock the Week, due in no small part to the comedic contributions of our favourite panelist Russell Howard, at the end of the day there can only be one winner.

In our humble opinion our chosen show imparts remarkably informative and humourous answers to many random questions that previously were assumed to be fact but actually are not the case.

With a host in the form of Stephen Fry, convincingly imparting a head-masterly role, he demonstrates an almost other-worldly intellect yet can be self-deprecating and is able to accept quips and jests with humour.

Oddly similar to JustFAQMe's raison d'etre, we consider that it shouldn't be too surprising and possibly quite interesting to you that QI is our top trumps of TV panel shows.

As Joe Friday in Dragnet (Dan Aykroyd) says "Just the facts, ma'am." What's that, JFM? In fact, what Friday actually said is "All we want are the facts." Well, that's show-business!

Any resemblance between the characters in this website and any FAQs, living or dead, is a miracle.

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Is Snoopy better than Topcat?

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YES

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What do you think is the best breakfast?

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This hungry FAQer believes that breakfast is - and should be - the best meal of the day. It is a meal to be celebrated!

(Imagine a Health Warning here!) I say don't make cereal a serial habit but indulge in the following 5 course breakfast instead! Here's the best 5 course breakfast i've ever eaten (in Prague):

Fresh fruit salad, freshly squeezed fruit juice

Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, bagel, and champagne

Sausages and bacon, fried egg, mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread

Fresh bread with cheese and cold meats

Freshly ground coffee

I'm not suggesting you start everyday like this, but a couple of courses once a week should help keep a smile on your face (followed by a long walk!)

"Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper”
Adelle Davis

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What should I have for tea tonight? Sausages or burgers?

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Bicycle made from sausages

What to have for tea tonight; sausages or burgers? Well we hope you made the right butchers choice and made mincemeat of your opponent by choosing good old bangers!

Did you know...

The word sausage is derived from the Latin word salsus which means something salted. Sausages are mentioned in The Odyssey which was written by Homer more than 2,700 years ago:

"These goat sausages sizzling here in the fire -
we packed them with fat and blood to have for supper.
Now, whoever wins this bout and proves the stronger,
Let that man step up and take his pick of the lot!"

Irish Sausages Please:

Can I have some Irish sausages please?' Asked Seamus. I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.
The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, 'Are you Irish?'

'If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?'

The assistant replied, 'Well...er.... no' .

'And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? Whatabout Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't,' came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?'

'Because you're in a blooming shoe shop', replied the assistant.

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What is the point of phosphorescent phytoplankton? Apart from making you glow like the 'Ready Brek man' of course

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Holy Luminous Sea Creatures Batman! What a fiendishly FAQ to research!

There are a few rare experiences in life in which the emotional content is outside logic or a sense of reality, like standing on a vertical mountain ridge with a thousand foot drop on either side or when driving through a rainbow. Another is swimming with phosphorescent phytoplankton.

So what is the point of these performing pincushions of nature? Well they can't help but be born exhibitionists, delighting you in colourful luminescence, making you shed inhibitions, and luring you into a false sense of security.

Imagine the scene... A bunch of you are spending the day at a beach house on an island in the Maldives. After dark, the surf glows blue. None of you have ever seen glow-in-the-dark plankton before. Each wave is a fluorescent blue tube. Every footstep in the damp sand sends a ring of blue light expanding outward. Up close, the glow sparkles blue points; the individual planktic. Of course, you all have to go swimming...and find out that the things are about the size of a pinhead, but have tiny little legs? claws? that don't feel too comfortable when they get trapped under a swimsuit; so the suits came off. Your bodies are outlined in blue light. When you hold up your arms, flashing blue diamonds cascade down. It is a magical, memorable experience.

But then you notice the man standing in the surf a few feet away, casting a ten-foot circular net, and hauling in five-foot dog sharks. You look between your legs, and think "bait", and decide that, magical or not, that's enough skinny-dipping for one night.

Yes indeed, you have to watch out for those phosphorescent phytoplankton types. They might appear harmless, but if you're unlucky the damn sneaky lot of them will have your precious bits glowing too!